I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
