She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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