so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
