make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
