I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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