I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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