i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
