Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
