i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
