Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
