Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize