They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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