Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he thought i was a dude.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
