So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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