Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize