I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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