i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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