you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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