I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
