Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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