ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
