i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
