I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
