Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize