I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Randomize
