I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
