Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
