Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
