shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
