I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's the barista slut.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
