She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dignity is for republicans.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
