So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
