i don't like sucking hair
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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