Who did Billy Mays play for?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
