It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
