It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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