the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
