What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
