I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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