Old men and throwing up are my life now.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
