so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
