so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
