No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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