Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
