at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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