so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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