it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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