he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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