its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
