I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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