i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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