We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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