Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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