i already hear my dad disowning me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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