if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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