OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
