I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize