I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
id be glad to
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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