...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
