Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
