remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
