You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
